Wow its been a year.

It's been a year since i wrote, a lot has happened. haha, i was reading my old blogs and i am really deppressing.

Where do i start?
1. i moved to Wisconsin.
2. Haleigh and i are still together :)
3. My mom tried to kill herself last year (idk if i mentioned that)
4. My dad talks to me again
5. My whole family knows im gay
6. I'm a lot happier than before.

Everything is going fine for me. The only problem that i have is that i still cant see Haleigh, and now that i live 2000 miles away from her it only gets harder. I'm here in Florida for the summer to see her. Im so glad. This summer with her has been great. I've dedicated every single minute to her. Well, i guess that's all for now. I'm just tired. I'll write more later.

Why wont anyone notice?

I hate this. more then you guys think.... no one will listen or help.... no one is doing anyting.
im going to slit my wrist and let it bleed on you.



i hate you

Please. Switch me Schools. Im gonna kill myself

I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me.
I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me.

August 18th, 2008

Dont you ever have days where you just feel like no one cares and that everybody is to busy doing other stuff to notice how much pain you are in? yeah well today that was my day. So it was the first day of high school. and it pretty much sucked. my teachers seemed nice but the kids are horrible. they are so mean and so imature. all they care about is there looks and there boyfriends and girlfriends. i miss midle school. everyone got along and we all cared for eachother so much, it took three years to build that bond with people, and now i have to do it with new people? i dont want too. I love my friends, and how they understand me even if i dont talk. they know when im sad, happy or anything without me even saying a word. I miss that feeling. i dont like the feeling of looking around the room and having no ones face to talk too... or holding someones hand on the bus.. or just having someone to talk to one that bus... i had so many friends, and they are gone, only some stayed... but its okay. i'll surround myself with people i love... again. if i ever find people as amazing as the people in Lehigh Midlle <3


Second thing, my mom is a bitch! she hit me in the face today! For the stupidest reason too! because i didnt put my shoes on... so she hit me in the face. i felt like punching her right then and there... fucking cunt... but you know what, its okay. shes a slut, a soiciopath(bad spelling), phyco, and she needs some more medication. go back to vista. -.- you should have stayed there. crazy bitch. Go away. So yeah. we went to walmart after she hit me. and i went in the bathroom and cried... yeah..


Third thing, Haleigh didnt call. when i need her most and when i start thinking that you arent going to be my best friend,you start not calling me... its fine. whatever.


Fourth, stupid damn hurricane, its not even gonna be that bed and everyone is freaking out! stupid. we've had much worst. atleast they cancelled school so i dont have to go to that hell hole again. the highlight of my day was getting candy in first period :D thanks mrs. monyhan! ahe seems like the only teacher i'll be able to talk to this year... AHHH!!! I HATE THAT PLACE!! SOMEONE GET ME OUUTT!! >:0

Holy Shizzle

Can you believe that like school like starts in like two like days? Thats like INSANE!!! Like totally. haha im going into high school. i never thought i would get that far xD i feel so old. im going to start turning into those slutty girls you look up to when you are in 5th grade. i cant believe how fast the time go. im scared that if i blink i might be married. which i wouldnt mind but im just scared. im going to die soon :/ scary.


Marry Me?

For you.

Im not apologizing. you hurt my feelings. you always do this. you never listen and then tell me i dont listen. i know i was mean afterwards but you know why. if you are coming then tell me, if you arent then dont. its not that hard. dont lie to me. dont cry over stupid shit. dont hurt me. well i hope you understand where im coming from, i know you cant come over, ok i fucking get it. but if you say you are going to come and see me before school starts do it. liar. i'll be waiting for the day you come over. time is ticking by and im not getting any happier

I Love you

I've come to realize there are alot of deep, nice people around me. :] really nice people that i love very much even though they might not know it.

well anyways, so i have a friend who wants to be a photographer and wants me to be a model for her, but i dont think im nearly pretty enough to model for her. i think she has a lot of talent especially to take pictures. she takes really pretty pictures of herself and animals. i wish i could help more, but we are young and there's a long time to get "working" I Love you though and I'll be your model any day :]