Why wont anyone notice?

I hate this. more then you guys think.... no one will listen or help.... no one is doing anyting.
im going to slit my wrist and let it bleed on you.



i hate you

Please. Switch me Schools. Im gonna kill myself

I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me.
I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me. I Dont want to go back there. Please dont make me.

August 18th, 2008

Dont you ever have days where you just feel like no one cares and that everybody is to busy doing other stuff to notice how much pain you are in? yeah well today that was my day. So it was the first day of high school. and it pretty much sucked. my teachers seemed nice but the kids are horrible. they are so mean and so imature. all they care about is there looks and there boyfriends and girlfriends. i miss midle school. everyone got along and we all cared for eachother so much, it took three years to build that bond with people, and now i have to do it with new people? i dont want too. I love my friends, and how they understand me even if i dont talk. they know when im sad, happy or anything without me even saying a word. I miss that feeling. i dont like the feeling of looking around the room and having no ones face to talk too... or holding someones hand on the bus.. or just having someone to talk to one that bus... i had so many friends, and they are gone, only some stayed... but its okay. i'll surround myself with people i love... again. if i ever find people as amazing as the people in Lehigh Midlle <3


Second thing, my mom is a bitch! she hit me in the face today! For the stupidest reason too! because i didnt put my shoes on... so she hit me in the face. i felt like punching her right then and there... fucking cunt... but you know what, its okay. shes a slut, a soiciopath(bad spelling), phyco, and she needs some more medication. go back to vista. -.- you should have stayed there. crazy bitch. Go away. So yeah. we went to walmart after she hit me. and i went in the bathroom and cried... yeah..


Third thing, Haleigh didnt call. when i need her most and when i start thinking that you arent going to be my best friend,you start not calling me... its fine. whatever.


Fourth, stupid damn hurricane, its not even gonna be that bed and everyone is freaking out! stupid. we've had much worst. atleast they cancelled school so i dont have to go to that hell hole again. the highlight of my day was getting candy in first period :D thanks mrs. monyhan! ahe seems like the only teacher i'll be able to talk to this year... AHHH!!! I HATE THAT PLACE!! SOMEONE GET ME OUUTT!! >:0

Holy Shizzle

Can you believe that like school like starts in like two like days? Thats like INSANE!!! Like totally. haha im going into high school. i never thought i would get that far xD i feel so old. im going to start turning into those slutty girls you look up to when you are in 5th grade. i cant believe how fast the time go. im scared that if i blink i might be married. which i wouldnt mind but im just scared. im going to die soon :/ scary.


Marry Me?

For you.

Im not apologizing. you hurt my feelings. you always do this. you never listen and then tell me i dont listen. i know i was mean afterwards but you know why. if you are coming then tell me, if you arent then dont. its not that hard. dont lie to me. dont cry over stupid shit. dont hurt me. well i hope you understand where im coming from, i know you cant come over, ok i fucking get it. but if you say you are going to come and see me before school starts do it. liar. i'll be waiting for the day you come over. time is ticking by and im not getting any happier

I Love you

I've come to realize there are alot of deep, nice people around me. :] really nice people that i love very much even though they might not know it.

well anyways, so i have a friend who wants to be a photographer and wants me to be a model for her, but i dont think im nearly pretty enough to model for her. i think she has a lot of talent especially to take pictures. she takes really pretty pictures of herself and animals. i wish i could help more, but we are young and there's a long time to get "working" I Love you though and I'll be your model any day :]

Hope

ok, so i know im not the best person ever and i know i have no right to judge anyone and i do believe in God. Im not as faithful as other people that i know but i do always believe in one thing, and thats hope. Hope is amazing. It can be that one little thing that can keep you from killing yourself, or that one thing that keeps you from crying and braking down. I have always had hope and i have always tried to spread it. Many bad things have happened to me, but many good things have happened to me too and i am very grateful for that. I have so many wonderful people in my life. Even the people who let me down sometimes love me very much. I am so bless to have great friends and family members. For every single bad thing thats happened in my life i always get one good thing in return. So i guess i am blessed. I have lived a wonderful life and i've discovered myself so much more. Thank you. And i wanna say thank you to one special person. I Love you very much. You know who you are. <3

Bet you didnt know.

I bet you didnt know that i stay up at night to watch Roseanne. Bet you didnt know that! I also bet you didnt know that i have an arm pit fetish. XD jk.

Wtf?! The Dark Knight and cockroaches

Dont you hate it when your internet turns off when you are writing something and it all deletes?! Its stupid. Pisses me off! Ok. So i went to the movies with Haleigh and Madison. We didnt realy wana watch a movies but we went to go see the Dark Knight. It was pretty cool, and scary at parts. The Joker was annoying with his mouth. He kept liking his lips, and Batman had a strange manly voice, but overall the movie was really cool and good. I also attempted to dye my hair red. It didnt reeally work. It turned red in some part and apperently my hair has a red tint to it now. I really dont see a difference. Ima try again though. OK. So im going into high school. Im really scared, not because of the big ppl, but because of all the scary drama thats going to happen. I wish everyone would mind there own dam business. I'll mind mine. OH! It was scary. A couple days ago i saw two cockroaches in my room! I was scared! I used to have a pet one, but it was really cute. The ones i saw were scary :[ Stupid cockroaches. Oh Btw that picture -> is my new hair and so is that one <- up there

Sports that shouldn't be sports

Peta2 and Wonton Soup

See if you go to Peta2.com you can get these nifty little stickers and all of this information about being a vegetarian, and i ordered them with my best friend. I got them in the mail like a week ago. I do love animals and all but when i am looking at Chicken wings and Wonton soup i cant help but only think about the sexy tasty chicken, not cute ones. I mean i am all against torturing animals and slitting there necks and stuff but damn, they taste so good. I'm sorry animals but you are very tasty! When you start tasting bad call me up and tell me, i'll pull you out of my mouth and plant you in the ground so you can grow. I Love you animals! :D

Look!! They are so cuutteee! BABIES! get me one!

Baby baby baaayybyyy

Is it weird that i want a baby, like NOW! They are so freaking cute!! I don't want it to come out of my vagina and stuff but i really wat one! I wouldn't want it to poop either. I don't think i would even change its diapers. I would barf! ewe... baby poop. You know what... I'll just get a dog... mmm.. yeah.

You are a dumbass

its so funny that he hates me. HE hates ME! i'm his only daughter. How could you ever hate your only daughter? I guess that shows a lot about a persons character, but its all good. I'm not the one who is married to an 80 year old, im not the one who lives with there mother until they were 40. Its okay, I will show you how great i am. I will show you how smart and talented i can be. And if you want to call me ignorant for the rest of your life thats okay, just dont come running to me for money or love. I hope you realize how big of a mistake you made, and i hope this haunts you for the rest of your days. I don't need a father but you need someone to love and i hope you find that. I already did. I'll see you when you're dead.